SpamFud Recipes

So you get a ton of junk mail (or not so much) in the e-mail each day. What to do with it all, you ask. Well, here are some more creative ways to use your spam, and you won't have to click the delete button so often! I have no knowledge of actual cooresponding recipes, this is just for fun. :D

This is all copyrighted to me, so don't take it or it is breaking the law, simple as that. In other words, DO NOT take to make a subpage or whatever. You may link to this page, however, just don't tell others they can take it 'cause it's mine, sowwee.

Note: spam is actually very easy to keep. Just file it away in a trash bin or bulk mail folder for use later. It can keep as long as you have enough space for it! I recommend Yahoo mail, it has six megabytes for you to fill however you wish.

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Spamburgers
Makes four burgers. Recipe may be doubled for larger group of people.
Serving size: one burger.

Ingredients:
40 junk e-mails ('spam')
2 viruses (unopened)
10 forwards/chain letters
1/2 cup water

Kitchen utensils:
Large mixing bowl
Knife
Seran wrap
Cutting surface
Small bowl
Cooking spray
Electric mixer OR wire whisk
Griddle and stovetop

Instructions:
1. Chop up spam into equally-sized bits about 1/4 of an inch in diameter. Dump into bowl as more cutting space is needed.

2. Beat on highest setting for two minutes or by hand for three, adding water as needed. Cover with seran wrap and stick in refridgerator while preparing other food.

3. Cut each virus letter in half diagonally. Set aside.

4. Cut forwards/chain letters into fine misty substance (forwards are much easier to prepare than spam). Set aside in small bowl for later. Do not let this get wet.

5. Sit back and relax for fifteen minutes. In fact, check your e-mail.

6. Take your spam from the fridge and remove seran wrap. Spray griddle with cooking spray and preheat on stovetop to 360 degrees (Farenheit). Dump onto cutting surface and lump it into four equally-sized balls of spam. Sprinkle in the dust-de-chain-lettre to firm them up so that they stay together. Use up chain letters, get more if needed.

7. Evenly space the spamburgers on the griddle. Let cook for five minutes, then wrap each in the diagonal slices of virus e-mails and serve!

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Spamghetti
Feeds five. Do not double recipe.
Serving size: 1/5 of recipe

Ingredients:
200 junk e-mails ('spam')
20 chain letters/forwards
2 cups water
2 cups flour
A favorite spice, in dust-like format

Kitchen utensils:
Large pot
Stovetop
Plastic cutting board
Small bowl
Wooden spoon
Seran wrap
Collander
Knife

Instructions:
1. Dip spam into water for a second before beginning. Put this water into pot and begin to boil.

2. On flour-covered cutting surface, cut spam into long strips. Make sure both sides are covered in flour before being put into pot.

3. Cut chain letters into fine dust and dump into small bowl. Add a few drops of water to make this into a pastelike substance. Stir until all lumps are gone. Add a dash of your favorite spice. Cover with seran wrap and refridgerate.

4. Wash the wooden spoon you used to stir the sauce and stir the noodles to make the flour stick better. After about two minutes of stirring, add to boiled water.

5. Depending on the temperature of the water, it may take seven to fifteen minutes for noodles to be ready. Check them often, stirring occasionally. Check your e-mail while you wait.

6. Drain water in collander. Divide into equal portions and serve with chain letter sauce heaped on top. Best served fresh.

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Spaham Crackers and Milk
Feeds one. Great on-the-go snack.

Ingredients:
10 junk e-mails ('spam')
Teaspoon Sugar
Glass of milk

Kitchen utensils:
Wax paper, large enough for preparation surface
Fork
Masking tape
Small cookie pan
Oven

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenheit. Spread wax paper on counter (or other preparation area) and tape corners down with masking tape.

2. Smoosh spam together and set on top of preparation surface. a few drops of milk may be needed to wet spam. Knead like dough.

3. Divide the spam into three balls of spam. Make them relatively equal in size. Smoosh flat.

4. Fold spam-dough over several times until it is small enough to be dipped in glass of milk. Poke a few holes through the spaham crackers so folded-in air can escape.

5. Put onto small cookie pan and stick in oven. Bake for three-five minutes or until spam turns a bronze color.

6. Remove and let cool.

7. Eat by dipping into milk; spam may be too hard to chew without the assistance of the milk.

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fO-J
Serves one.
Good drink for with your cereal.

Ingredients:
5 forwards
1 orange

Kitchen utensils:
Juicer (or other method of juicing)
Drinking glass
Butter knife

Instructions:
1. Juice the orange, whatever method you use to do this is fine. You may want to add a bit of water, depending on the orange.

2. Chop forwards into fine powder (easily accomplished with butter knife).

3. Dump powder into OJ to make fO-J!

[4. Drink.]

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More recipes coming soon!