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The Monthly [In]Sanity Check - April 2003 Memoir of the Month This came directly from the 4/1/03 entry of DoaSO. Read it already? Tough. ~*~ Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. The alarm clock went off next to my ear. Tripped gracefully out of bed, landed on feet and hands, somewhat cat-like. Groped in the dark for my coffee can filled to the brim with pranking necessities, switched on a flashlight, and crept out of my room, into the hall, down the stairs. Dumped my handful of materials onto the counter, glanced at the clock. 3:02AM. Ahhh, I love April Fools' Day. First I rigged the hand-sprayer... tightly wound a rubber band around the handle and duct-taped it to the counter so it would shoot the unlucky person who turned on the sink right in the face/neck/top area. Dyed some ice cubes green. Turned up the volume on all the TVs and computers. Poured pony beads into Mum's, Dad's, and Quinn's shoes, just enough to annoy but not be seen until the foot's in the shoe. Tried switching the cereal bags around, but the boxes were all different sizes. Didn't want to end up spilling the sugar or salt, so didn't try to switch the two. Hid Mum's coffee on the picture windowsill, then duct-taped the curtains to the window frames. Had a hasty breakfast at 3:30 and then put the open milk in the way back of the fridge, along with Mum and Dad's cream for their coffee. Covered the bathroom doorknob with a generous amount of baby oil, then sprayed myself by accident with the hand sprayer when I went to wash it off of my hands. Taped the car keys together, stole the four or five mugs of pens and pencils from downstairs (they're now sitting at my feet). Balanced a rolled-up newspaper on top of the freezer door. Taped the scissors' cutters together. Finally retreated from the kitchen at 3:43, stopping only to tape some thread across the kitchen hall to get stuck on Mum's clothing when she wakes up. Wasn't done. Not at all. Dumped my stuff back on the top of the steps, conveniently 'dropped' the last of the pony beads on the top step. Tip-toed into Quinn's bedroom, unplugged his GameCube and Nintendo. Cranked up the volume on his TV before sliding the switch plate so that the light couldn't be turned on (the switchplate's loose, you can completely make it impossible to flick on the light by sliding it a little to the right). And, of course, didn't forget to toilet paper him while he was asleep. That done, I made my way into my parents' room with a flashlight. Put their trash can on the other side of the room just to annoy them, unplugged the nightlight thing, then toilet papered them, too. Reported back to my bedroom at 0400 hours. Grinning from ear to ear, I hid my April Fools' Day notes so that Mum wouldn't dig them up, then went to bed. Getting up at three and losing an hour of sleep was worth it. What's even better is how at ten or so in the evening I'll return to the only bed in the house that doesn't have newspapers stuffed under the sheets and a pillowcase stuffed with books. Happy April Fools
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