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The Monthly [In]Sanity Check - March 2003 Memoir of the Month Whoo hoo! A memoir for ya'll, each month, every month! This is mostly to practice my writing by giving myself a forced due date and semi-specific topic (and the need to find something worth writing about, haha). So, yeah. Another note that some things may abe copied right out of my blog(s)... tough luck if you already read them. So I present March '03's Memoir... "Steve is the Spoon!" --------------------- "He's freaking annoying!" Leah cried out, loud enough to make each of us wince, but quiet enough not to echo around the lunch hall. "Steve's filled up my inbox with about fifty e-mails, and we've been together since Wednesday!" Juli raised an eyebrow at the obvious exaggeration, and peeled a banana, smirking. Kelly shrugged her hair over the shoulder, grinning despite Leah's obvious short-temper-edness. I watched the scene quietly, wondering what Juli was coming up with. She always looked just like that when she had an idea forming, whether sensible or malevolent. Two days ago, on Wednesday, Leah had found a note slipped into her locker. Apparently some boy at some sports event had given her a bottle of water or something, as he referred to himself as 'your water-boy'. Juli and Kelly had practically memorized the note and all its misspellings, laughing their heads off; I hadn't seen it, but gathered enough from what I heard between peals of laughter and Leah's many shut up!!s. She'd gone to sit with him on Thursday, after getting a card from him (well, actually, one of his friends handed it to her, warning her that it was cheesy). Now, on Friday, she wanted to get rid of him. (Sheesh, I'll never understand her....) "I need a spoon," Leah snapped shortly, and stood to go over to the container of them near the lunch line. Juli had erupted into more giggles, and I had raised an eyebrow at her. Just as Kelly started to ask what was so funny, she gestured for her to stop. "This'll be funny, hold on." Leah had slumped back into the seat, nearly losing her balance. She slapped the spoon to the table and dug into her lunchbox for her plastic container of pineapple bits. Just as she set it on the table, Juli spoke. "Welcome to Juli and Kelly's Shrinkistries!" she cried happily, and Kelly fought to keep her face straight. Leah made a face at them, one that said clearly, 'what the heck?' I smirked. They'd done that to me when she was sitting with her water-boy. "Now, we see you are having some problems," chirped Kelly in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Can we help you?" Leah, still surprised, had crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "We can see you're confused. Let's make things simpler for you." Juli picked up the spoon and held it about four inches from Leah's face. "Steve is the spoon." After a very absurd silence during which all four of us fought to keep our faces straight, Juli tried again. "We see you'd like to get rid of Steve." Juli chirped. "You'll have to break it off." She bent the spoon, or tried to anyway - the plastic lunch spoons are hard plastic. "This symbolizes that it'll be hard to do," I added to the conversation, pointing at the spoon in Juli's hands. Leah was leaning away, although she looked like she'd explode into laughter soon. "And you'll need some help to do it," cried Kelly, taking the spoon and trying to break it herself. Stubbornly, she kept going for about twenty seconds of silence until Leah regained her practical sense and snapped, "Give me my spoon, I need to eat lunch!" "We can see you still like him," whispered Juli mysteriously, then saying her next few sentences in a louder-than-normal voice. "So after some troubles, it'll be all righted again! See!" She pointed at the spoon that Leah had just flattened back out again. Leah rolled her eyes and ripped the plastic off the top of her pineapples. She was just about to dip the spoon into them when she made a face. Juli, Kelly, and I had already seen what she was doing and were red in the face from holding back laughter. Leah put her face in her hands, hiding the fact that she was giggling silently. The rest of us stopped holding back fits of giggles. The lunchroom got really quiet for about three seconds as everyone glanced over at us, then the rumble of talking started again. Leah, still red in the face from laughing so hard, went to get a different spoon. "I got two," she snapped, back to normal, when she returned. "So that Juli doesn't rip these up too." We all knew why she'd gotten a different spoon though, and were grinning evilly, Juli in particular. She used one of them to eat a few spoonfulls of pineapples, and Juli grinned, having a new plan. "Leah," she said, expression blank. "Huh?" A spoonful of pineapple bits was halfway to her mouth. "Oh, finish that first," Juli said. Her voice cracked on first. Blinking, Leah had the spoon of pineapples, then asked the other girl what she was going to say. Juli and Kelly both cried out at once.... "The spoon... is... Robert!" All of us, except for Leah, exploded into even louder peals of laughter. --------------------- (**Please note that fake names were used in this memoir for the subjects', erm, privacy. There is a (very minute) chance that the peeps who were written about might read this, and, uh, hate me. So... ah, yes. Also, the dialogue, etc. is not exact; I'm using my creative liscense. :P**) |