I walk by the houses
The houses on the narrow lane
I glance into windows
I see smiles, I see laughter.

I shiver in the cold
I wander in the darkness
I am not welcome on this lane
But there is nowhere else to go.

I continue walking
My clothing is not fit for snow
For snow is falling on the lane
The narrow lane where I'm not welcome.

I sigh and I stamp
And I continue down the narrow lane
The winding lane of the wealthy
The people who don't notice the poor.

I hear laughter of the bad sort
I feel a snowball pounding my back
I turn red with ridicule
And I continue down the lane.

"Go away! You are not welcome!
The likes of you aren't meant to stay!"
I don't bother turning, just continue
Down the narrow lane.

They point, they laugh
They throw things at me
They can tell I'm not one of them
I sigh and just endure it.

More snowballs come my way
More laughter echoes in the night
Down the narrow lane I walk
The end, the end, is near, in sight.

I see the thing I have been searching for
Alone in the dark where I am not welcome
The snowballs stop, the laughter ceases
And the lights shine brightly upon me.

I smile grimly, sit in the road
They whisper behind me, I do not care
The lights come nearer, I smile more brightly
They yell that I am a fool.

The narrow lane seems to blur out
Now all I see are the lights
Zooming ever faster, burning ever brighter
Running at me, coming to end it....

I hear the squeals of the brakes
The lights come ever closer, ever nearer
I do not move, do not breathe
I will die among those better than I.

The horns beep loudly
The wealthy folks scream
They usher their children back into their homes
I stay where I am, smiling....

The snow was what helped me
The brakes did not catch quite right
The car slid closer
And soon I was gone.

No longer shall I suffer
No longer shall I cry
No longer shall I be the target of
All of their jokes.

Now I don't have pain
Now I don't feel heartache
Now I lie dead in the narrow lane
Where I am not welcome.

.~*~.

Written as a sort of extremity of my feelings on the day I wrote it. Obviously, I was not feeling that great. If you keep up with my journal you'd know why; for the more fortunate of you, I'll sum it up in two words: "Valentine's Social". Dated February 12th, 2003.